lady sings da blues (violating propriety one unlady like gesture at a time)

5 year-old Shaniya Davis has been missing in Fayetville, N.C. since Tuesday, November 10. She was first reported missing by her mother Antoinette Davis who now faces charges of human trafficking, felony child abuse involving prostitution and filing a false police report. Police are saying only that they received a tip and are now bringing in a helicopter to aid the search of her body along the highway. Shaniya has lived with her father her entire life and only a month ago allowed Shaniya to live with her mother so that she may have a chance at raising her daughter and getting to know her.

Naturally, as a mother I’m sick to my stomach. After watching the news last night I felt so burdened and restless at the sadness the father must be going through. Though Shaniya had been in his care her entire life I understand the desire for wanting his child to know, love, and experience her mother. The amount of trust betrayed and guilt he must have is immeasurable. I wonder what he did know about her? Little Shaniya Davis was given to her greatest protector, her mother. Bradley Lockhart (Shaniya’s father) did what every single parent would do for their child. He allowed his child to know her mother for her happiness. And now as the Fayetville Police search for her body there must be a gaping hole in his heart and such self scrutiny of his judgement.

As I watch the details of this story unravel I begin to reflect on the protection I provide for my child. Not only do I take the steps to know my neighbors via Missouri State Highway Patrol Offender Search but I also go the lengths of choosing my friends ever so carefully. We must build well knit networks who’s goal is to enrich the lives of our most times powerless babies. It should be our hope that in those our child must orient with in school, family, and church is a need to put the well being of any innocent adolescent ahead of their selfish personal needs.

Alas, this is not the world we live in. So as parents we must go more than the extra mile. We must invade the society around our child and make our presence at all times known. We must consult with elders, parents and priests about the reservations we have in our guts about a teacher, a parent, or an uncle. We must also not be afraid to speak up and out on behavior that could hurt, harm, or hinder the safety and protection of our children.

In context to the single parent and custody, KNOW THE OTHER PARENT. If through space and time you don’t know that person anymore after divorce or through distance demand supervised visitation through your attorney. If the other parent opposes this than the child’s interest is no longer on the top of their list but instead their convenience. Do all that you can to uplift and nurture that growing relationship with the other parent but listen carefully and watch your child’s behavior because what they can’t say with their mouths they almost always display in actions. Be open with family and schools about the relationship of your child with the other parent. Often times when children are taken directly from schools by parents teachers don’t want to create a rift or be rude by saying, “I’m sorry I don’t know you. I’ll just have to call mom to be sure this child can go home with you.” Parents, give your teachers the power to do this. TEACHERS ARE OUR SECOND LINE OF DEFENSE! Empower them, assist them, and be involved.

I pray for the strength and peace of mind little Shaniya’s family is going to need. I pray for the peace of mind Shaniya’s father will need to continue on. I pray that we see these things in the news and in our communities and we seek out a way to empower each other for the protection of our children.

Let’s get it together folks. Be right!