June 29, 2008
Commitment of Growth/6 Degrees of Seperation
Posted by Chief Love Guru under Uncategorized[3] Comments
Through a series of six or so events in the past two weeks I’ve heard many of my friends state their needs to “clean house.” Though few I agree with I urge the rest myself included to look at the common denominator in all our current “soap opera” issues. Are we indeed our stories main character?
Often we accidently let our stories get taken from us. No longer do we play the main role but we allow someone (HE) to slide onto our set and set new rules with regard to the proper lighting being on them alone….but remember its your show. Without dispute or discussion we give away our ideas, our sweat, our time while someone who lacks the luster of our shine sweeps into reap the accolades of being in our worlds, a world most of us have fought hard struggles to build. And with their bold and manipulative measures to convince you they are better or the originator of an idea, thought or philosophy we believe the diluteness they espouse for the security of an occasional acknowledgement or company….we do it for “OUR TURN”. Do you not see (HE) preys for the scraps we are so anxious to share because of “that smile”, “that humor” and don’t front….”that DICK”? Do you not see (HE) will tell you what you want you to hear so you think you’re still the star of YOUR OWN show meanwhile (HE) pulls the strings from behind rendering you his puppet and not his playwright…
This is not indicative my sisters of us being weak. I believe firmly that we black women are the strongest of us all. It is however indicative of a weak time. A time in which we recognize we really just want to be loved. However more or less some of us need it than others, I urge you to refuse the scraps (HE) brings to your table.
Sistas! Sistas! Sistas!
Stop providing REFUGE for the (HE)’s who give you half your deservedness. Recognize when you’re the sidepiece (as so eloquently defined to us by V-Majorz) and stop settling to be the appetizer, the salad or the muthfriggin napkin he wipes his mouth with. It is time to be honest with ourselves. Through habit and necessity of being the breadwinners, mothers, fathers, disciplinarians, counselors and doctors to our children and households we convince ourselves we have no time for love. We say, “I just need this fulfilled. If you can do that we cool.” LIE to (HE) but not to yourself! You want more! You need more! YOU DESERVE MORE! And out of shear self denial or disbelief that there is a man with whom can be as strong or stronger and share in our responsibilities we take “the midnight call man” who really is no man at all. I’ll type that again, WHO REALLY IS NO MAN AT ALL. Recognize that the plight we have with our brothers is because we are ENABLING them. We allow their excuses, bail them out, and even reward them with our bodies when they’ve done US wrong. Certainly if (HE) can’t work for your heart then he doesn’t deserve to sleep in your bed which is really because Girl A is upset and Girl B is out of town. Certainly if (HE) can’t display trustworthy behavior he doesn’t deserve to eat the same meals you cook your child. And think about when he didn’t call you back like he was supposed to. He was in shit because Girl B saw him out last night with Girl A then Girl A caught him texting Girl C so he could go to work from her house since she dwells closer to his job and oh….guess what? You’re Girl C, The option that saves him gas money in the morning. THE OPTION THAT SAVES HIM GAS MONEY! Yet you call your friends up and cry bitch and moan saying this Nigga ain’t shit. Sistas! Sistas! Sistas! (HE) ain’t shit! Yet his AIN’T SHIT ass got the play the night before and if he calls will get it the next two nights.
BE STRONGER! LOVE YOURSELF! BE STRONGER! LOVE YOURSELF! BE STRONGER! LOVE YOURSELF! BE STRONGER! LOVE YOURSELF!
And recognize,
Our strength has always been in numbers. I may not know you, but if (HE) belongs to you (with his ain’t shit ass) then (HE) belongs to you. I will not partake in your supper and I ask you to come by invite only to mine. We share the same struggles. Why not gather our resources and help build each other? Why not surround ourselves with other strong women to be an example to the little girl looking up thinking, “I want to be just like her”? Why not stop providing refuge so that our Black Brothers can become STRONG BLACK BROTHERS again. We NEED you BROTHERS! Don’t defect to what’s easy (the snow bunnies) but instead stand your ground and reclaim your pride in culture and then in self.
I am embarrassed at what my daughter sees as average for interpersonal relationships between women and more ashamed of what men are teaching or NOT TEACHING (absent fathers teach through neglect as well) to young boys to whom my daughter will soon look upon to search for her native drum.
WOMEN, we were made to be creators. Stop living passively. Stop loving passively. Stop believing passively. This is our destiny…CREATE!
Ps. It all starts within. Just take an honest look at self. An honest look.
